For Eleanor Rae

On Thursday, November 13th, our daughter Eleanor Rae left us.

She never quite made it into this world, but for 6 months she was a real and tangible part of our every-minute lives. She had it tough from the start, and though we and especially Cathy did everything we could to help her grow strong, the odds and the genetic code were stacked against her.

It's amazing how deeply you can become attached to someone you've never met. The intensity of emotion during this time has left us both reeling. On the positive side, I've never felt as close to my wife as I do now. I've seen things in her, the depths of her character, that I probably knew were there but had never had the cause or opportunity to witness. She's a hell of a strong person and I'm proud to be with her.

From this experience, I can begin to understand why people change so much when they have kids. I've caught a tiny glimpse into a world where you are responsible for something larger than yourself. I've felt the pull of that connection, and I understand the drive for it.

Eleanor was tough and spirited. She tried mightily to overcome the hand dealt to her. And her fight was our fight, something we lived for every minute. No other relationship or community or cause has ever taken such a powerful hold over me. And it just happened. I didn't try to do it or have to consider any options or anything like that. It just happened. That's a pretty amazing thing.

Eventually we'll come to understand or at least deal with this. We'll always remember it, and I think that'll make us stronger. We're going to buy a brick at the Anne Frank Human Rights Memorial here in Boise. It seems a fitting tribute.

Real Life

The glow of the past week has faded into normal life, a bit. It's rainy and grey here in Boise, the days are getting shorter, and the geese honk overhead at all hours.

The euphoria Cathy and I have felt over the unfolding of the historic presidential election is severely tempered by real life. Cathy's pregnancy, nearing its 6th month, has been difficult and tenuous for some months. Since the start really. But we hung on and hung on and did everything we could do. And still, in the end, there was nothing we could do.

The darkest time of my life is undoubtedly now. I've never felt as low as I go at times right now. This whole thing is blurred as a dream, time and emotional outbursts seemingly random.

My wife is home from the hospital now, and she's groggy and tired and sad but ok. I think it'll take us a while to be good again.

We've learned through this experience that we have a lot of good friends and a very strong family support system. We're grateful to everyone for getting behind us and helping us through this. We wish it had gone differently, but it didn't, and we'll learn to live with that.

I'm at a bit of a loss right now but I needed to get something out there.

Toles

President Barack Obama

This has not sunk in. The race is called, Barack has addressed all of Chicago and the world, and a new leadership has been voted into power in America.

We are overwhelmed. We are stunned at the outcome, giddy with possibility, weepy with joy. For so many reasons and in so many ways we are on the verge of what's next. Cynics have plenty to work with here, but cliche though it will become, as the man said, In the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.

There will be plenty more to say. Let's just enjoy this for a while.

pic from TPM

I Voted

I arrived at my regular polling place 15 minutes before voting would begin. Although I'm usually one of 2 or 3 people in the room during an election, this time the line stretched from the front door to the parking lot, and it was obvious that everyone in that line was happy to be waiting.

The cadre of older ladies who run this polling place were excited, too, even though it was obvious they were a bit overwhelmed. Idaho has changed from a punch-card system to a fill-in-the-oval scanner system this year, complete with brand new cardboard cut-out voting booths and felt-tip pens. It felt like a step backward, technologically speaking, but no matter. The cookies and brownies were laid out next to the tables and tables of fabric swatches and quilts for sale (I vote in a senior center), and while these things usually strike me as cute and folksy in my polling place, this time they struck me as essential.

At a moment when we hope to tip the country's political system on its side to best shake out all the trash, when we hope to usher in a brand new day, it is comforting to know that drastic change can happen alongside things that deserve to stay the same.

America's Women

Sullivan: Obama for President

Once again, Andrew Sullivan has made his case for an Obama presidency. He's indicted the Bush administration, defined the lay of the land, and made plain the direction this country must take in order to leave the darkness of the last 8 years behind.

This column is definitely worth a read--especially for anyone who is still undecided. Keep in mind this comes from a staunch conservative. But, as he says, he puts country before ideology.

[A new start for America] will not be easy. The world will soon remember why it resents America as well as loves it. But until this unlikely fellow with the funny ears and strange name and exotic biography emerged on the scene, I had begun to wonder if it was possible at all. I had almost given up hope, and he helped restore it. That is what is stirring out there; and although you are welcome to mock me for it, I remain unashamed. As someone once said, in the unlikely story of America, there is never anything false about hope. Obama, moreover, seems to bring out the best in people, and the calmest, and the sanest. He seems to me to have a blend of Midwestern good sense, an intuitive understanding of the developing world that is as much our future now as theirs', an analyst's mind and a poet's tongue. He is human. He is flawed. He will make mistakes. His passivity and ambiguity are sometimes weaknesses as well as strengths.

But there is something about his rise that is also supremely American, a reminder of why so many of us love this country so passionately and are filled with such grief at what has been done to it and in its name. I endorse Barack Obama because I will not give up on America, because I believe in America, and in her constitution and decency and character and strength.

And the world needs that America now as much as it ever has. Can we start that healing, that rebirth, tomorrow?

Yes. We. Can.

Obama on Stewart, Part 1

Sedaris on the Undecideds

"I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. 'Can I interest you in the chicken?' she asks. 'Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?' To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

- Author David Sedaris, on undecided voters

Rednecks for Obama

This makes me feel pretty good.

Just when you really invest in a stereotype, someone comes along and knocks it over. And he's out there on the street handing out bumper stickers. Anything can happen.

That awful woman down the block

I wonder if she knows that kids can't vote?

"Shirley Nagel of Grosse Pointe Farms, Mich., handed out candy Friday only to those who shared her support for the Republican presidential candidate and his running mate Sarah Palin. Others were turned away empty-handed."

Who are these people?

The NY Times talks to that 4% of us who just can't decide.

"If the country is divided between red and blue, Mr. Finke resides in a gray state, along with a proud — or embarrassed — corps of undecideds. They are a shrinking cohort of confused, procrastinating, indifferent or just plain indecisive consumers of democracy."

Happy Friday

Watch it again...

This doesn't hurt either

Optimism

Anyone who knows me knows that despite my strong support of him I've not had the brightest outlook of Obama's chances of actually winning the presidency. Polls and trends help make me feel better, but I still think that when it comes time to pull the lever, advance poll results won't bear out what folks do in the booth.

Recent poll results are helping to change my mind, though, based not on the numbers of likely winner, but on other questions, like some of those cited in this article from today's NY Times.

Some key points:

¶Mr. Obama is maintaining his lead, with 51 percent of likely voters supporting him and 40 percent supporting Mr. McCain in a head-to-head matchup.

¶Some perceptions of race are changing, with a marked increase in the number of people who say they believe that white and black people have an equal chance of getting ahead in America today.

¶Mr. McCain’s focus on taxes, including his talk about Joe the Plumber, seems to be having some effect, as a growing number of voters now say Mr. McCain would not raise their taxes.

¶Eighty-nine percent of people view the economy negatively, and 85 percent think the country is on the wrong track.

¶Mr. Obama continues to have a significant advantage on key issues like the economy, health care and the war in Iraq.

Six Days

"In six days, you can put an end to the politics that would divide a nation just to win an election; that tries to pit region against region, city against town, Republican against Democrat; that asks us to fear at a time when we need hope."

Barack Obama at a rally in North Carolina.

Charles for Obama

This is pretty amazing. Hope and optimism should trump fear and division.

Bible Spice

This is great.

Soon there will be a reckoning between the cerebral cons (who've been long content to pal up with vermin) and the wingnut residuum that has found its avatar in Bible Spice.

The Wire for Obama!

This seals it. Kema's a hell of an endorsement.

The article's worth a read. FiveThirtyEight has turned out to be a great new site for polling info, but this one goes a bit beyond that.

We Heart Old Dogs

They're the best. That's Cathy and Gus, a great example. And this article from the Washington post captures well the wonderful creatures that they are.

Careful: This one's a weeper. I read it at work and was glad no one happened by. Could have been embarrassing.