Monday, May 16, 2005

Dangerous Thoughts

What started out as a simple set of blog entries on a long weekend visit to Austin has turned into something more complicated. Basically, I had a great time down there and have been plunged into a whirlpool of doubt and second guessing about where I am now and why I ever left there in the first place.

At present, we have no plans to return to Austin permanently. But I find it interesting and a little worrying that both Cathy and I are talking about it fairly often. I think she had the same experience when she went to Austin in March for SXSW.

We love Boise in many ways. We've made a few good friends here, we have a nice house in a good spot, we both have decent jobs that pay the bills, and we have access to more of the wide-open Western outdoors than we could ever have imagined. That's what got us here in the first place. But lately, it seems, we're missing the things we gave up when we moved more than we're enjoying the things we gained. I find that in Austin I have stronger connections to people, Eric and Harlan specifically but others more generally, than I've been able to forge here. Perhaps that's my resistance, but more I think it's having common interests. Art and music are on the backburner in this town. People don't pay much attention to it except as a diversion. That's unacceptable to me.

Anyway, we're still sorting all this out. I doubt we're going anywhere, but I can't stop thinking what if. What if.

No comments: